Lament of the lost son

Luke 15:11–32 and Psalm 32. Lent 4.

would I be happy,
this rejection of you
forgiven?

would I be happy,
telling you the truth
of all the wrong I’ve done?

I have kept such silence,
have stayed far from you,
and I am wasting away;

my stomach make my moaning,
for my voice fails me,
my strength fails me,
I have failed me, and you, and God.

would I be happy
if I came home
to you?

could I be happy,
bearing the shame,
all my losses, to you?

I abandoned Wisdom,
though you would teach me;
I discarded the principles,
the respect you sought to instill;

I have nothing left, now, but
regret, and can I let that go?

can I stand, the memory
of your strength to sure me up
in my weakness?

can I walk toward you,
the memory of love enough
to guide my way?

can I hope to be happy,
bringing my shame home
to you?

can I hope to know peace,
falling at your feet?
can the memory of you,
my Parent, save even me?